NWSL Week 24: "Stop Laughing, The Chicago Red Stars Suck!!!" And Other Ravings of a Madman

/
NWSL Week 24: "Stop Laughing, The Chicago Red Stars Suck!!!" And Other Ravings of a Madman

The Chicago Red Stars own one of the worst xG differentials in league history. Only the Utah Royals have played worse in total this season. But Chicago just clinched a playoff berth, and look poised to finish the year in sixth place on a mere 1.3 points per game. Only four other teams have ever finished sixth or higher with that points total.

Can it really just be luck? Is their low-volume, high-efficiency attack and defense sustainable once they face better teams in the postseason? The guys dissect the Red Stars' 2-0 defeat to Gotham, and whether that result--combined with horrible recent performances against San Diego and Houston--can be overcome once November rolls around. 

Click here to vote on what Evan has to do if the Red Stars win their quarterfinal match! 

And join the Patreon for only $6/month to get all of our exclusive bonus content!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 23 -- The Portland Thorns, Racing Louisville, and the Dangling Thread of the Playoff Line

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 23 -- The Portland Thorns, Racing Louisville, and the Dangling Thread of the Playoff Line

We have got some things to cover, here! The guys get into the news of Angel City's fines and suspensions for salary cap violations, the firing of former Houston Dash head coach Fran Alonso, the absurdity of the Chicago Red Stars conceding at least three xG for the second time in three weeks, Bay FC's four-minute meltdown, and the Orlando Pride's historic Shield win. 

Then, it's on to the main events. Portland has been one of the worst teams in the NWSL since the end of the Olympics break. Racing Louisville has been fighting to get over the playoff line. Neither team did themselves any favors with two very different losses. Which team has the edge to go to the quarterfinals in November? 

Be sure to subscribe to our Patreon for all of our exclusive bonus content!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 22 -- Bay FC are Doing the Damn Thing

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 22 -- Bay FC are Doing the Damn Thing

A scrappy 1-0 victory on the road to the Seattle Reign may not look like much, but Bay FC are creeping closer and closer to a playoff berth, only a few months removed from looking like one of the worst teams in the NWSL. The guys dig into all of the ways the team has managed to improve since early June, from trusting new players to Albertin Montoya reimagining the team's tactical vision. It's wild. 

Still not a member of our Patreon? Sign up today for only $6/month to get all of our exclusive bonus content!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 21 -- Kansas City Current Remind Everyone Who They Are

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 21 -- Kansas City Current Remind Everyone Who They Are

Oh, did you forget that the Current can gut your favorite team like a fish? After a few games of sputtering defensive performance, KC's new back line is locked in and Temwa Chawinga is, well, Temwa Chawinga. Their 3-0 battering of the Washington Spirit was a bit lucky, but was also a scary proposition for any team that will face Kansas City in the playoffs. The guys break it all down. 

Plus, xG shenanigans with the San Diego Wave! Officiating questions with Angel City and the Portland Thorns! The stretch run is officially here, gang!

Join our Patreon for only $6/month to get all of our exlusive bonus content!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 20 -- The Orlando-KC Staredown, and Portland's Continued Implosion

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 20 -- The Orlando-KC Staredown, and Portland's Continued Implosion

We've got two games to cover this week! One was the matchup of the weekend on paper, but fizzled out to a 0-0 draw between the Pride and Current. The other ended up with significant playoff implications, as the Red Stars snatched a 1-0 road win against the Thorns and shored up their postseason odds, while Portland continued their freefall. What can they do to right the ship? Is Chicago's season-long overperformance about to pay off? 

Subscribe to our Patreon for only $6/month and get all of our exclusive bonus content!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 19 -- Au Revoir Alex Morgan, Bonjour Bay FC!

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 19 -- Au Revoir Alex Morgan, Bonjour Bay FC!

Alex Morgan has retired. As yet another titan of the sport walks into the sunset, the guys reflect on what Morgan's career truly meant beyond the goals and trophies. 

Then, after rounding up NWSL results across the weekend, they dive into Bay's 1-0 defeat of Racing Louisville. Have Abby Dahlkemper and Penelope Hocking helped Bay find the answers? Is Albertin Montoya finally getting the team to play like he envisioned? How much does this result and performance portend for Louisville's playoff hopes? 

If you haven't yet, be sure to sign up for our Patreon for only $6/month. We will be doing a livestream commentary for Orlando-Kansas City on Friday for our members!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 18 -- A Walk through Gotham with Jenna Tonelli!

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 18 -- A Walk through Gotham with Jenna Tonelli!

The Orlando Pride continued their unbeaten streak on Sunday, taking down Gotham FC 2-0 after a monsoon nearly flooded Inter&Co Stadium. Gotham was unable to gain any separation from its peers in the top 4. But does it portend anything serious? Eric and Evan talk to Gotham reporter Jenna Tonelli about Gotham's performance, the magic of Ella Stevens, and how dangerous Gotham will be come playoff time. 

Sign up for our Patreon for only $6/month!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 17 -- Your Spirit Has a Powerful Current Running from Washington to Kansas City

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: NWSL Week 17 -- Your Spirit Has a Powerful Current Running from Washington to Kansas City

Jonatan Giráldez has officially entered the NWSL chat. The Washington Spirit took down the Kansas City Current 4-1, and for a brief second, one had to wonder if the wheels were coming off of the most dominant squad in the league. This game had everything. Six defenders to handle Debinha and Chawinga! Otherworldly finishing from Trinity Rodman! A new center back pairing falling out of a clown car! Adrianna Franch living up to her new reputation! It's all here, and the guys break it all down. Welcome back to the NWSL!

Join our Patreon and get all of our exclusive bonus content for only $6/month!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Emergency Pod -- The NWSL's Historic New Labor Agreement

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Emergency Pod -- The NWSL's Historic New Labor Agreement

The NWSL Players Association has just signed a new collective bargaining agreement, which may be one of the most historically significant labor deals in sports history. The elimination of the draft, universal guaranteed contracts and free agency, player consent for trades, and massive increases in minimum salaries without corresponding max salaries all give serious power to the players. What did that they have to give up to ownership, and what might that mean come 2028 when a new media rights deal is signed? Eric and Evan unpack what we know so far about this seismic moment in women’s sports labor.

Don’t forget to sign up for our Patreon to get all of our exclusive bonus content!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka’s Bell Dance Songs

Read More

The Big Midseason NWSL Transfer Round-Up!

/
The Big Midseason NWSL Transfer Round-Up!

The NWSL is back, baby!!! After six agonizing weeks away, the stretch run kicks off on Friday. A massive amount of transfer activity has gone down in that time. Eric and Evan highlight some of their faves and not-so-faves. 

Could Delphine Cascarino help push the San Diego Wave into playoff contention? How does Carson Pickett fit into the Orlando Pride lineup? Are the Chicago Red Stars playoff locks thanks to Ludmila and Julia Grosso? Can Jess Carter adapt to the league's pace? Will Alana Cook keep things tight at the back amid the Kansas City Current's defensive injury crisis? Is Katie Zelem really an improvement for Angel City? How does one make sense of Jaelin Howell and Ana-Maria Crnogorčević at the Seattle Reign and Bethany Balcer at Racing Louisville? Are the Washington Spirit's signings an embarrassment of riches? Is Cortnee Vine the final missing piece in the North Carolina Courage attack? Listen and find out!

Subscribe to our Patreon tier to get all of our exclusive bonus content!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Olympics Recap -- The USWNT Paved the Parisian Streets with Gold

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Olympics Recap -- The USWNT Paved the Parisian Streets with Gold

369 days after the USWNT crashed out of the World Cup Round of 16, they put those demons to bed, winning the gold medal at the 2024 Summer Olympics. The team managed to weather the worst half of football they had played all tournament to wear down Brazil until Mallory Swanson took Korbin Albert's through ball and ripped the Brazilian defense to pieces. Some heroics from Alyssa Naeher and the usual shutdown defense from Naomi Girma helped the US grab their first gold medal in 12 years. Now, the real work begins. Eric and Evan analyze the US performance, praise Brazil's savvy gameplan, and argue why nobody should get too high about this victory--or too low. 

Don't forget to subscribe to our Patreon to get all of our exclusive bonus content for only $6/month!

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Olympics Recap -- The USWNT are Exhausted, but are On to the Gold Medal Game

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Olympics Recap -- The USWNT are Exhausted, but are On to the Gold Medal Game

The players were dead on their feet. Lindsey Horan could barely ping a pass toward the German goal. But Naomi Girma led the defense to another sterling performance, Sophia Smith threaded a wonder goal past Ann-Katrin Berger, and the USWNT will face Brazil for the gold medal on Saturday. Was there anything besides heat and fatigue that slowed the US attack down? Can they avoid Spain's fate against Brazil in the semifinal? Is Girma the undisputed best center back in the world? Eric and Evan ponder yet another 120-minute slog of a match that still had a happy ending for the Americans.

Subscribe to our Patreon by this Saturday (August 10th) and lock in your $6/month price forever! 

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Olympics Recap -- The USWNT Struggles but Moves On to the Semifinals

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Olympics Recap -- The USWNT Struggles but Moves On to the Semifinals

It was brutal, but perhaps it was necessary. The USWNT scraped past Japan in the Olympics quarterfinals thanks to an extra-time wonder strike from Trinity Rodman, setting up a semifinal rematch with Germany. Were the players just too tired? Is Emma Hayes's focus on chemistry over fresh legs about to blow up in her face? Was the Japanese defense just too good for the US? Thankfully, the US's defense was even better. Eric and Evan get into all of it and preview the semifinal via Germany's penalty-shootout win against Canada!

Sign up for our Patreon and get all of our bonus episodes and more for only $6/month! 

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Olympics Recap--The USWNT Win Group B, Face Japan in the Quarterfinals

/

The USWNT beat Australia 2-1 in the final round of the Olympics group stage, topping the group and heading to the quarterfinals to play Japan on Saturday. Despite all the hand-wringing about the US heading into the tournament, they finished group play with the best goal differential the best non-penalty xG differential, the most shots taken in the box, and the most touches in the box. (There's also the small matter of Spain as the only other team to win all three of their group games.)

How did the US look against Australia? What might it portend for the knockout stage? And what dangers--and opportunities--do Japan offer? Eric & Evan tackle it all!

Sign up for our Patreon if you haven't already, where you'll get all our exclusive bonus content for only $6/month!

Art by Eli Elbogen 
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Olympics Recap -- The USWNT Fly Through Germany in the Balmy Marseille Air

/
EXPECTED OWN GOALS: Olympics Recap -- The USWNT Fly Through Germany in the Balmy Marseille Air

Bang! The USWNT rained goals on Germany in a 4-1 victory, their biggest result against a FIFA top-10 side in six years. A Sophia Smith brace, a Mallory Swanson tap-in, and a Lynn Williams dagger made Germany look far worse than their world ranking would indicate. But was it all bread and circuses for Emma Hayes's side? Eric and Evan examine the tactical imbalance that allowed the Germans to find seams on the counter--and the ways the US exploited their opponent's resulting gaps in the other direction. 

Want to hear us chat about the action in Groups A and C? Sign up for our Patreon to get all of our exclusive bonus content! 

Art by Eli Elbogen
Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

Read More